"Its my life, please don't take it from me, Borderline Personality Disorder"

Here is what some family members of those who have BPD go through:

After 31 years of marriage its finally over.  As odd as this may sound it is only in the last year or so that I have come to an understanding of the depth of my wife's mental illness.  She was diagnosed with BPD over 20 years ago by a clinical psychologist.  She has always been difficult.  However, things came to a head as our daughter entered adolescence.  My wife has been unable to cope with normally difficult teenage behavior.  We have a 16 year old son and a 13 year old daughter.  My son has always been easy to deal with.  He is quiet and well behaved.  My daughter is wonderfully perceptive, smart, socially adept child.  Yet she is also quite feisty.  As is typical for a borderline, my wife engages in splitting.  My son is the good one and my daughter the bad one.  Things began to get bad about one year ago when my son (the good one) got angry at her.  She has been emotionally, and at times, physically abusive to the children.

                           By,

                         Anonymous

The annoying thing about suicidal threats is that no one, not even the person expressing them, know for certain if the next impulse will be to "do it".  Exactly how much does it matter if it's a manipulation tactic or a cry for help or a sincere desire to bring an end to -- something -- life, pain, a reasonable dilemma overwhelmed by irrational thoughts...when we're faced with that sort of desperation

"Yes" -- we can empathize with their thoughts; we can validate their tremendous pain; we can tell them that we hope they don't choose this particular solution.  But....During a violent rage or when someone feels so overwhelmed by helpless, hopelessness, no one is in control.

                           By,

                        Anonymous

She hasn't been to school all this week.  The week before was spring break and the week before that she went once.  She is refusing to tell us what is going on, in fact she refuses to even speak to us most of the time.  This is not good.  She is refusing to speak to her dad even and that has never happened before.  It has always been me that was the evil one.  She has not talked to him in about 3 days.  She spoke to me briefly yesterday (to tell me she wasn't going to school today) and once today (to tell me she was taking the dog for a walk).

At suppertime tonight dad asked her what was going on.  Ws she dropping out of school? No answer.  He told her if she was going to stay in school fine, but she needed to actually go.  If she was dropping out fine, then she needed to get a job.

Her response was to pack some things in a garbage bag and leave -- dressed in pj's.  She had a coat ect too, but started off down the streets in her pj's!

After about 10 minutes talking about how our hands are tied because she is 18 now, I went in the car and offered to take her anywhere she wanted to go.  She refused to talk to me and just kept walking.  I tried to get her to talk, but she refused.

                     By,

                 Anonymous

Suggested Books:

Eclipses - behind the borderline personality disorder by Melisa Thornton

Get me out of here by Rachel Reiland

Stop Walking on Egg Shells by Randi Kreger

Lost in the mirror - by Richard Mosowitz

The Angry Heart by Joseph Santoro

Sex, Drugs, Gambling & Chocolate : A workbook for overcoming addiction by Thomas Horvath.

Other suggested reading:

The Greatest Miracle in the world by Og Mandino

The 4 agreements by Miguel Ruiz

Anger - by Thich Nhat Hanh

Feel Good by David Burns

I hate you, don't leave me by Jerold Kreisman

Coming Apart by Daphine Rose Kingma

Borderlines by Caroline Kraus

It's never too late to have a happy childhood by Claudia Black

Magic Scrolls of Linehan Castle by Troy Prouty

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